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Wait, Ben Roethlisberger Has a Creepy Role in Trump’s Alleged One-Night Stand With a Porn Star?

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Okay, the world is just getting too crazy. When is Elon Musk’s SpaceX leaving and how can I get on board?

Stormy Daniels, the adult film star claiming she had an unimpressive one-night stand with now-President Trump while he was married to Melania, has a new tell-all book. Titled “Full Disclosure,” Daniels is letting it all hang out Oct. 2.

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The description of Trump’s penis allegedly resembling Toad from Mario Kart was pretty funny. I could handle that. However, the latest leak from the book, coming from CNN, who has an advance copy, claims Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has a minor, but creepy role in the story of their affair. I wasn’t ready for this.

In the book, Daniels says she went to a nightclub, the night after the alleged sexual encounter, where she was ushered into the VIP section to a couch where Trump and Roethlisberger were talking, and Trump eventually suggested the quarterback walk Daniels back to her hotel room.

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Daniels writes how she was surprised Trump suggested Roethisberger should escort her back rather than his bodyguards. When the Super Bowl champ brought Daniels to her room safely, this is what she writes happened, according to CNN:

“At my door, Ben said, ‘Oh, can I see your room?’

“‘I’m really tired,’ I said, awkwardly holding the key card. He looked at the card until I put it in, and I didn’t open the door all the way. Just enough for me to slip through. As I got behind it, keeping my face out, I noticed he’d raised his hand to rest it on the door.

“He pushed lightly, I pushed lightly. Did he know he was leaning on the door? Was he just steadying himself?

“‘Can I come in?’ he said.

“‘I’m just so tired,’ I said.

“‘How about a good night kiss?”

“‘Well, no, I am here with your friend,’ I said, literally trying to play the Trump card.

“‘Come on,’ he said.”

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She writes she suddenly increased the pressure enough to slam the door.

“‘He stood outside, not leaving,'” Daniels said of Roethlisberger. “Every now and again he’d knock, rapping his knuckles in a line low along the door. ‘Come onnnn,’ he repeated in a singsong voice. ‘I won’t tell.'”

Daniels notes she was shaken by the experience.

Ben Roethilisberger’s reps have not commented on the story, according to CNN.

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LAX Now Allows Marijuana In Carry-On

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Get ready for high flying.

Los Angeles International Airport — also known as LAX —  has announced that it will permit travelers to bring small amounts of legal marijuana through security in their carry-on bags.

“The Los Angeles Airport Police Department will allow passengers to travel through LAX with up to 28.5 grams of marijuana and 8 grams of concentrated marijuana,” reads a statement on LAX’s official website, which was posted in September 2018.

California passed Proposition 64, aka the Adult Use of Marijuana Act in 2016, meaning that as of of January 1, 2018, it became legal in California “for individuals 21 years of age or older to possess up to 28.5 grams of marijuana and 8 grams of concentrated marijuana for personal consumption.”

If you’re traveling with marijuana through LAX, study up on the laws in your origin and destination airport before packing your bags.

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Gay Penguin Couple Kidnapped Straight Couple’s Penguin Baby

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In a time when you hope a news story is fake, this tale about gay penguins will make you want the news to actually be real. And it is!

Love is love. Even penguins know that. The large flightless seabirds also know that when two souls find love, having a baby is often the next step. That being said, a pair of gay penguins at a Denmark zoo “kidnapped” a straight couple’s hatchling and tried to take it in as their own, a zookeeper says.

And it was all caught on video.

 

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Trump to Female Reporter: ‘You’re not thinking. You never do’

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President Donald Trump insulted a female reporter in the Rose Garden on Monday, telling her she “never” thinks before asking a question. Trump called on Cecilia Vega, a White House reporter for ABC News and started making a joke out her.

“She’s shocked that I picked her,” said Trump as a flock of staffers behind him — mostly men — smiled or laughed. “She’s, like, in a state of shock.”

“I’m not,” Vega said, rising from her seat. “Thank you, Mr. President.”

Trump, apparently mishearing “thank you” as “thinking,” responded with a seemingly unprovoked jab: “I know you’re not thinking. You never do.”

A White House transcript alleges Trump said “not thanking,” a non-sequitur given Vega had said “thank you” immediately prior. Now that’s pathetic.

Watch it play out:

President Trump insults ABC News reporter

President Trump took a swipe at a female reporter during his news conference earlier today, telling her "I know you're not thinking. You never do."—>> STORY HERE: http://bit.ly/2OXXV5Y

Posted by WPTV on Monday, October 1, 2018

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