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Why Your Significant Other Should Complement You, Not Complete You

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Breakups are one of the hardest things to go through in life. Ending a relationship with someone who ignites a fire deep in your soul can feel like it’s the end of the world, but I’m here to tell you it’s not!

I know what it’s like to lose yourself in a relationship. I dated someone for close to three years who was by my side through everything — the good, the bad and the ugly. He was in the room with me when I was diagnosed with cancer, took care of me during rough chemo treatments and helped me through the fear and sadness when the reality of dealing with an illness started to creep in on me. He was my best friend and I was completely in love with him.

We planned for the future. I thought we were going to be together forever. Then we broke up. It completely shattered my heart. At times I felt it was worse than having cancer. (Sounds crazy, right?)

He was there for me through a traumatic experience which made it even harder to let go. I didn’t think I could go through life without him. I felt no one would ever love me again because I was living with cancer and that nobody else could give me the strength he gave me. It felt as though he completed me while we were together, and without him, I was incomplete.

It took me a few months to realize I’m a strong person with or without a guy. It’s so easy to get caught up in boys — especially when you’re young — because you want someone to want you. But think of all the people you can possibly fall in love with! The world is huge and full of so many people. Why do we think just because one person decides they don’t want to be with us anymore that we will never find love again?

The right one won’t leave you. If they do, there’s 7 billion other people on the planet to choose from. Don’t limit yourself to thinking there’s only one person who could make your life worth living. In reality, we rely too much on other people to make us happy. Focus on yourself and learn how to make yourself feel fulfilled before you look for love.

When you are ready to find that special someone make sure it’s someone who complements you and makes you a better person, not someone who completes you. The only person who can make you feel complete is you. It’s okay to focus on loving you, because you deserve all the love in the world.

 

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This College Dropout Is Schooling Influencers and Startups on How to Get a Next Level Social Media Following

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Ryan Hertel, Founder of Socialocca

College isn’t for everyone. Ryan Hertel can vouch. He spent three semesters studying mass communications at King’s College, in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, after surrendering to pressure from his parents to follow the traditional pathway to money and happiness. Now, the 24-year-old is running his own business — a creative branding agency called Socialocca — in the same field in which many of his degree-holding peers are struggling to stay afloat or even secure entry-level jobs.

As influencers and startups are waking up each day to grind and shine and stand out, Ryan has his finger on the pulse of what works in marketing, what doesn’t and where social media is going. He recently spoke to Better than the Weekend to share some insights.

You’re an unlikely choice to be administering marketing advice to companies. You don’t have a college degree. What makes you an expert? I’m helping people build their brand online. In order to do that, I don’t necessarily need a marketing degree. I just need to have the experience of building a brand. The reason I can even contend when it comes to being in the know about branding and social media and marketing is because I built a DJ’ing business and was successful at building that business by utilizing social media to spread the word and get more than 13,000 followers on Instagram alone. Most people with a marketing degree say, ‘Hey, I know what I’m doing. I was taught what to do.’ I can say, ‘Hey, I know what I’m doing. I used social media to make money for my own business. I can do it for you.’ A lot of people have the knowledge of what to do, but they don’t actually have the track record to prove they can grow a brand’s following. 

Photographed by Lisa Petz

Influencers and newer companies may feel their credibility lies in numbers. Some buy followers to build their credibility. What are the pros and cons to focusing on the amount of followers you have in the beginning by paying for them? People who don’t know what they’re doing who want to be social media influencers do this too often when they’re starting out. There aren’t any pros to buying followers anymore. There were when people were easily fooled and buying followers weren’t a common practice. You can’t fake the following anymore. It’s easy to spot a fake audience today. Plus, fake followers will actually hurt your algorithms on Instagram or Facebook. Less of your real following will see your content. A bunch of fake accounts will see your content and your level of engagement will make you look far less popular than you should be. 

Some services promote buying real followers. Are there any services you know of that do this which you’d recommend? That’s not a real thing. They’re scams. Don’t fall for it. I’d recommend any service that acknowledges they can’t grow your service overnight and one that focuses on goals and not guaranteeing a certain amount of followers. Anybody who says they guarantee results is lying to you. Organic marketing cannot be guaranteed. It all depends on how good the marketing campaign is and how good the content is. 

How important are hashtags in connecting with new followers? They’re not important any more. Plain and simple, anyone who knows what they’re doing on social media doesn’t care about hashtags. They were cool like four years ago. Now, we’re just at the point where some of these hashtags are used by 56 million other people. Hashtags are way too oversaturated. No-one is sitting on their phone and looking up hashtags. It might get a couple more likes, but they’re usually from auto-generated services, anyway. Instagram is now doing something called shadow banning, where they’re even hiding many of these hashtags because they’re trying to slow down the feed. So your hashtag might not even be seen. If you’re relying on hashtags, you have to get way more creative with your marketing.

What is important when marketing your posts? What’s most important, above everything, is the quality of the post. Posting too frequently hurts your feed. Posting quality pics and videos less frequently will be more beneficial, because those posts can circulate for a couple of days if they’re quality posts. People are on social media to listen to what you have to say. It’s now a popularity contest, not a contest as to who posts the most.

Then is consistency still important, or has consistency evolved in terms of marketing on social media? The consistency of the quality of your post is better than the consistency of when you post. While being consistent is important, people get a little too carried away with it, thinking they have to post twice a day at the same time every day. That’s too much for people to take in. They need to be more consistent with the quality of what they’re putting out there and not the time.

Ryan Hertel, Founder of Socialocca

Any tips for influencers and brands when it comes to engaging with their audience? It’s important to actually engage with others and not just post content. Like posts. Comment. Not just on your feed, but there’s too. Even as a business, you want to Like posts and engage on other accounts. Tag people you’re working with. If you’re just sitting there doing nothing, nobody is going to remember you or think about you. If they constantly see you tagging and interacting with others like a regular person, they’re going to take you more seriously.

Where is social media headed? Everything is starting to turn into people asking, ‘What are they doing right now?’ Look at Snapchat and Instagram stories and Facebook Live. You can really cast your entire day on social media for people to see and people will watch. They’re interested in seeing what you’re doing in real-time, they respond to it, and they rush to see it before it usually disappears in 24 hours. When it comes to structure and systems and processes, it’s important to know rules don’t apply. No one rule applies to the same two people or company. Influencers and brands need to start living in the moment and capturing that. The future of social media is immediacy.

And there you have it. Now make like Missy Elliot, put your thing down, flip it, and reverse it onto your own social media branding agenda. Good luck!

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Living

Watch This Solider Dunk for Donuts

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Jason Ciesielski is a Field Artillery Soldier in the Army National Guard and an athlete making his mark on social media. When he’s not busy serving his country, the 20-year-old can be seen on his Instagram and Facebook page showing off high box jumps, dead lifts and freestyle dunks.

“I want to empower people to be the best, strongest versions of themselves,” he says.

Jason recently went Live on Facebook with Better than the Weekend to dunk while treating himself to one of his guilty pleasures — Dunkin’ Donuts. He picked out four of his favorite fried cakes of sweetened dough and made sure he dunked before indulging his sweet tooth. Moral of the story: You can still be fit and eat what you want, as long as you work for it.

Watch and see how he did. Ladies, you’re welcome. 😉

Dunkin' for Donuts

Real men earn their donuts 🏅Ask Jason Tyler Ciesielski

Posted by Better than the Weekend on Wednesday, April 18, 2018

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Living

How to Stop Being a Pussy and Be the Lion You Were Born to Be

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Adobe Stock Image

Gentleman,

We are hard-wired to be lions; to go after something we want.

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It’s in our nature to be a total savage when chasing after our desires — despite the consequences. In modern culture, where social media is redefining our lifestyle, we seem to be transforming into this fear-based robot who stays in their comfort zone and doesn’t reach too far.

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My name is Jesse Mundt. I’m a 23-year-old realtor from New Jersey. I’m not worried about remembering Harambe, learning the fucking Juju dance or getting blackout wasted. I’m focused on hitting my goals. I want to see other millennials get as excited as I am about hitting their goals. That’s why I’m here to offer some advice on how to break this formula of being a pussy and finally be the lion you were born to be.

Don’t be a dick. Hear me out.

You’re probably a lot like me, actually. I want to be rich and successful.

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Photo provided by Jesse Mundt

But before we move forward, I believe we have to go backward.

First step in being a fucking lion is to sit down and be your 6-year-old self again — this time with some intellect. Ask yourself these questions: What do you want your life to look like if you couldn’t fail? How much money do you want to make? How big do you want your house to be? What’s your dream car?

Be specific. Your answers should give you butterflies and chills just thinking about them.

Next, dust off the creativity and imagination of your childhood self and dream BIG. Imagine your adult life if your childhood dreams became a reality. (Remember, you only limit your own thoughts. So go fucking wild while dreaming what your life could be like.)

Lastly, find a mentor. Someone who has what you want and is willing to teach you how to get it. Keep in mind, you can’t teach what you don’t have so be careful who you take advice from, especially those close to you. (For example, if you want to make $100,000 each year but the person teaching you makes $60,000 a year, it’s impossible. You get it.)

Being a gentleman isn’t limited to how you respect a woman. A true gentleman works on himself and constantly strives for growth. It’s not only our duty as gentleman, but as human beings.
That’s how he become a fearless lion and takes on the world.

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Are you willing to give up your comfort zone to go up?

I am.

From one gentleman to another,

Jesse

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