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Dane Cook really enjoys getting smoothies with his 19-year-old bae

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If you were in college in the mid-2000s, you’re likely familiar with Dane Cook. He was basically a comedy God. His Retaliation album was the soundtrack to countless dorm room power hours. Cook was only the second comic ever to sell out Madison Square Garden. He hosted Saturday Night Live twice. He was Rolling Stone’s Hot Comic of the Year in ’06. And his 20-city Tourgasm college tour was a 9-episode HBO doc.

So, what happened to the man responsible for getting young people through the second Bush era? Is he stuck in a prison in Tijuana? Did he transition and change his name to Kate McKinnon? Is he trapped forever in Wal-Mart’s $5 movie bin, only to be seen again when re-watching Good Luck Chuck? All good questions — but all WRONG. The 45-year-old is spending time with his 19-year-old girlfriend that everyone on the internet is going crazy over.

Her name is Kelsi Taylor, and she’s stunning. The couple has apparently been dating for about one year, according to TMZ, and they’ve been sharing their cutest moments on Instagram the entire time.

Wait, it gets even cuter.

They enjoy getting healthy smoothies together.

Apparently, it’s their thing.

But they also know how to feast, and make you feel like shit for being single in the process.

We’re just happy that Dane Cook is still alive.

And kicking. 

And in love.

And watching movies in 3-D with his beautiful girlfriend who isn’t old enough to drink until 2019.

If you’re unaware of why this man deserves all the love in the world, get schooled and watch:

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Kim Kardashian Faces Backlash for ‘Homophobic’ Clapback

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Kim Kardashian West stepped into the shade room. Now the internet is accusing her of making a homophobic jab.

Model Tyson Beckford started the beef when he commented on one of Kim’s Instagram photos. “Sorry I don’t care for it personally,” he wrote of the photo that highlighted her body shape. “She is not real, doctor f–ked up on her right hip.”

Kim replied to the model, saying: “Sis we all know why you don’t care for it.”

The internet went wild, believing her comment was homophobic. One Instagram account made this comment:

So far, KKW hasn’t remarked on the homophobia accusations

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Watch the Teaser for Lindsay Lohan’s New MTV Show

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MTV announced July 30 that “Lohan Beach Club” (working title) with Lindsay Lohan is coming to TV. The docuseries, executive produced by Lohan in partnership with MTV and Bunim/Murray Productions, began shooting this week in Mykonos, Greece. As Lindsay says: Pack your bags!

The series follows Lohan as she works to expand her business empire with the launch of Lohan Beach House. The exclusive seaside destination will serve as a backdrop for the series, and features luxury spa amenities, a renowned restaurant and a transformative day and nightclub poised to redefine the Mykonos experience. The debut of Lohan Beach House marks the star’s third business venture in the Greek Islands, following the opening of Lohan Nightclub in Athens, Greece and Lohan Beach House Rhodes in Rhodes, Greece.

Lohan will lead a team of handpicked brand ambassadors to make her mark on the vacation capital of the world. Over the course of the season, Lohan’s team must prove their expertise, ambition and charm while helping bring Lohan’s vision to life. The stakes are high as the team establishes new friendships and alliances while striving to rise above the temptations the Mykonos nightlife scene has to offer.

The show is slated to premiere in 2019.

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Demi Lovato Found Unconscious After Possible Heroin Overdose

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Demi Lovato was been rushed to an L.A. hospital Tuesday afternoon after suffering from what appears to be a heroin overdose, TMZ reports.

Audio of the emergency call obtained by TMZ reveals the pop star was unconscious upon arriving to her Hollywood Hills home and revived with Narcan — an emergency medication to reverse the effects of a narcotic overdose. While TMZ reports the overdose is heroin related, a source claims to PEOPLE those claims are fake news.

Last March, Lovato revealed she celebrated six years of sobriety, but in June she released a new song, “Sober” on which she revealed that she had relapsed.

The National Center for Health Statistics reports the number of overdose deaths in the U.S. involving heroin has risen every year since 2010. Perhaps even more disturbingly, more Americans died from drug overdoses in 2016 than the number of American lives lost in the entirety of the Vietnam War, which totaled 58,200.

Celebrities are starting to send love to the singer and her family.

What Ellen said.

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